The Goodyear Blip

League Blog was lucky enough to obtain tickets for last night’s blockbuster match at Penrith. The seats were excellent, right at halfway and at the perfect elevation. It later turned out that we weren’t supposed to be sitting there, but really, that’s what footy’s all about.

It wasn’t a very good game, but LB was happy to see up close how these teams are travelling.

Ever since their blip of a grand final win in 2003, the Panthers have deserved the heap of scorn that’s been poured all over them and especially their inexplicably employed coach. Unlike the Tigers, who at various points of the season look like premiership contenders before missing the semis, the Panthers have at various times looked like a playoff team before missing the semis. This year, things are different. Or so they say.

Based on last night’s performance, they’re definitely in with a shot. Players seem to know their roles, they’re confident and have some good strike power. But their defence is shoddy and you’ll forgive League Blog for saying they are locks not to make the grand final or even the grand final qualifier.

The Dogs are continuing their rebuilding quite nicely, in the wake of last year’s overachieving blip. Ben Barba got his first run of 80 minutes and was quiet but solid. Flawed defensively, but very involved in the Dogs’ attack. I think he erred on the side of simplicity and not pushing things, aside from an audacious chip kick on the last tackle 30m out from his line, which lead to a decisive Panthers try from memory. He and the Dogs will be much better for the run. They continue to find ways to ignore Josh Morris and I’m starting to think he needs to take some responsibility for that. For a player with his ability on a team like the Dogs, his lack of involvement is shameful.

Overall the Dogs look like a team without an identity. They have some outstanding players but aren't putting it together convincingly. I rank development of their up and comers as the critical task at the moment. With the team they have, they still shouldn’t have to sacrifice a finals berth to achieve that end.

I don’t think the ladder position of either of these teams will remain as it is. In fact, this is the most variable comp in the history of rugby league. Teams drift in and out of form – winners don’t win for long and even the losingest losers have picked up a few wins. This is heartening for teams aiming to win enough games to stay in contention but happy to work combinations and structure with the goal of peaking at the right time of year. Teams like Melbourne (but not actually Melbourne). Wouldn't it be delightful if at the end of the year the non-Melbourne bottom team was only four wins behind the team with the most wins (probably Melbourne)?

Two side notes from last night. The Panthers' on-ground announcer looks like he used to be on children's TV. And for the first time in seven years, Luke Patten is no longer the fifth-best fullback in rugby league.

Tahu's round the clock rehab program

League Blog is pleased to announce our return to League Blog after an extended stay in one of Sydney's southern National Parks. We can't say too much about it, as we're selling our story to New Idea. Let's just say we won't be offering directions to Trent Barrett for a while. If he wants to find first grade form, he can make his own damn way.

As it turns out we're coming back at just the right time. Not only does Origin I promise to be the greatest game so far in the history of rugby league, but Ben Barba's finally getting his chance to steer the Dogs around the park on Monday against the Panthers. With regards to the former, LB is especially interested to see whether Mal Meninga's finally forked out for a better wheelchair for Darren Lockyer. It's a disgrace that they've left him in that nursing home giveaway for so long. With regards to the latter, the Dogs are on track to continue their long rebuilding phase after the blip of overachievement last year. Give the youth a chance, Kevvie.

Finally, LB was very interested to hear of Timana Tahu's safe passage into the Origin team. We've managed to get a copy of his round the clock rehab program.

Day 1
0600 Breakfast. Two slices of raisin toast and a large mug of earl grey tea. Third slice of raisin toast if still hungry.

0630 Turn on ABC Newsradio, plug in muscle stimulator and strap it to knee and ankle.

1230 Lunch. As extension cord is not long enough to reach kitchen, give Jamal Idris a call and see if he can bring over something.

1830 Dinner. Try Jamal again. If no luck, try trainer Tony Ayoub.

2030 Unstrap muscle stimulator from knee and ankle, unplug muscle stimulator, turn off radio.

2100 Do some straight line running and some turning up and back over ten metres.

2200 Go to bed.

Day 2
0630 Give Tony Ayoub a call, ask if he can supply a portable muscle stimulator.

Storm in a Teacup

In one of the momentous days in the history of Rugby League, League Blog was shocked to find out that the Newcastle Knights are chasing Brett Finch to fill the role of five eight in 2011. An amazing and noteworthy revelation - we think this may be the story of the year.

A gift from God

It’s 6 degrees in the outer Canberra suburb of Belconnen, and the sun is yet to rise. A lone figure strolls down the road towards a local park, football in one hand and four litre water bottle in the other. He enters the park, neatly places the ball and water by a tree and immediately starts running. An hour later, the rising sun sees him dodging and weaving between imaginary witch hats. Another hour and the suburb comes to life, cars starting, people walking, the muted greens and browns of Canberra seeing the light of day.

Our solitary athlete pays none of this heed, not for another half hour when he picks up his ball and now empty water bottle and leaves the park. He is covered in sweat and has the look of soldier returning from war. Grim, dazed, and battle hardened.

Canberra Raiders interchange player Brett Kelly is a polarising figure. “Some people have heard of me, some haven’t,” he quips. But he wouldn’t have it any other way. Nothing has come easy to Kelly in life. Not his first word (bobo, according to his mother), not his first job (kitchenhand at Hungry Jacks), and not a starting berth in the National Rugby League. The way he sees it, if he didn’t get up early and work harder than everyone else, he wouldn’t even be on the same page as the Thurstons, Inglises and Barbas of the world. “It’s definitely made me stronger,” Kelly says of his brutal training regime.

Injuries have derailed most of Kelly’s career, but he is starting to come good at the right time. Kelly finds himself at the end of a five man bench for the Raiders, coming off a surprise win over the slow starting Eels. Among the boys, Kelly’s nickname is Omitted, because of how often the phrase ‘one to be omitted’ comes after his name. He doesn’t mind. He has far worse nicknames for the other players, particular Alan Tongue, Dane Tilse and Joe Picker.

“I’ve put in the hard work, the long hours. It’s just a matter of replicating that on the footy field. It’s not rocket science,” Kelly says. Raiders conditioner Mark Colville has a big wrap on Kelly. “Mate, this c*** is eight, nine years older than most of the other c**** in this place, but he f******* trains the house down. This c*** is legit, he is a f****** NRL player.”

Kelly keeps to himself

As one of the older players in the club, I wonder if Kelly has any perspective on why the Raiders have been such a colossal failure in the NRL for so many years. Is it the coach, the players, the town? Does the salary cap work? Kelly says nothing, not even an ‘I don’t know.’ I’m not even sure he understood the question. But if last week’s win over the Eels is anything to go by, this year’s players carry no extra burden from years past.

No more than your average human anyway. Kelly understands the religious connotations of the suburb he was born in. “Jesus, every second person in my street used to bang on about living in the garden of Eden. Yes, I’ve got a mate called Adam. Yes, I know someone called Eve. And no, there's no apple orchards around here.” Kelly grows quiet for a moment. After a long pause, during which he appears to see through my very soul, he continues. “Knowledge is an awful burden to place on anyone. There’s too much. How do you make sense of it, act on it? But that’s the human condition. We are by nature curious creatures. Would you have refrained from eating the apple?”

I don’t know the answer to this question. But I do know that Brett Kelly is unlike any other player in the history of rugby league.

Sponsored by Betstar

Punters,

I noticed something today that reminded me of that Dudley Moore/Darryl Hannah movie Crazy People, where an advertiser started using honesty to sell his products.

It seems that Betstar is doing the same thing. Note their statement on my Oztips page today.



I like it. Makes me want to head straight to the Pokies.

In other news, yes, Storm to beat the Sea Eagles.

Thursday bullets

• You know how some writers just couldn't be arsed doing a proper post and so just rifle off a bunch of unconnected and poorly thought out points yet try and rescue the whole thing by calling it 'bullets'? League Blog has a very open mind and is willing to try anything once.
• In the wake of the success of the Matty Johns show, already nominated for a BAFTA, commercial stations are scrambling to put together more footy offerings. LB can however offer a Danny Weidler-style exclusive, as we bumped into a television crew from Sydney community station TVS while they were filming former Manly trainer and now assistant coach Geoff Toovey. Turns out they're putting together a 6-part documentary called Reality TooVey, following the schmiddy-sized Tooves around while he gives advice, organises defensive lines, sinks pints at the Arms and repairs broken doors. In a further Danny Weidler-style exclusive, LB can reveal that Tooves is working on a secret new tackling manoeuvre called the Joystick. Tune into TVS next Friday at 3pm for all the details.
• There have been mixed reactions from fans of Souths, the Bulldogs, Cronulla and Manly, the four teams yet to register wins this year. Some say a win is just around the corner, others are googling Jack Kevorkian. Like Sherlock Downey Jr, LB likes to get all the facts before judging these matters. In 2009 three teams entered Round 3 on 0 points: Manly, Canberra and Panthers. All had essentially crap years. In 2008 it was Manly, Penrith, Souths and North Qld. Again, all crap years, except Manly who won the comp. LB thinks it's pretty obvious what the implications are.
  
• Likewise, fans of the Roosters, Dragons, Storm and Titans want to know whether their two wins will translate to rugby league immortality. LB is so confident in stating the following that it won't even bother looking it up. In the ENTIRE history of rugby league, at least three of the top four teams entering Round 3 have gone on to miss out on the big prize. Sobering stuff.
• LB saw on Hungry Beast last night that the mobile apps industry is projected to become larger than the music industry. Can anyone think of any potential league apps for players, coaches, administrators or the heart of the game, the fans?
  

NRL Rugby League 3 on Nerdstation

League Blog has just been informed that NRL Rugby League 3 has just been released on nerd systems around the world. Giving a free plug, LB was a big fan of NRL RL2, which allowed great moves such as pass left (L1), pass right (R1), speed up (X), side step (Y), and kick (I could never figure out which button did this, so my halfback (Daniel Holdsworth) would kick at random times to random places - much like real life).

However, we are assured that Rugby League 3 has a much wider array of moves for the nerdy league fans. A bit of research has come up with the following:

Chicken Wing - X, X, -->, Y. Toggle stick left and right rapidly to rip tendons.
Prowler - (L1) + O, Y, -->, -->. Also can hit --> -->, (up) to do a prowling high shot.
Grapple - mash all buttons together and toggle left and right.
Eye Gouge - hit X, X, <--, --> after a grapple
Gallen Wheels Grab - O, O <--, --> after a grapple

We note that there are a number of player specific moves too.

Inglis - X, X, X, X, --> will give the ol' don't argue.
Matai - Any button on defence will result in Matai giving a high shot.
Nate Myles - (L2), O, O... I recommend that you not try this one.
And finally, reminiscent of the fatality moves in Mortal Kombat, Brett Stewart. Try X, X --> X, Y if Manly wins a match.



Enjoy.

Note, if you discover any different player specific codes, feel free to post them in comments.