Now, I don't know much about the Manly nightlife, except that the Steyne lives up to its name, but one thing I have seen down there in my younger days is Steve Matai getting into a fight on the main strip. That guy is big, mean and tough, and the other blokes didn't stand a chance.
In fact, the only person in Manly whom I think could take on Matai is Anthony Watmough - the vacant look in his eyes reminds me scarily of Mike Tyson. And one of the few guys who could take on Choc would be, yep, you guessed it, Skivvy Matai. Those two would make for a pretty even match.
But now, suspiciously, news comes to light that these two were both beaten up in the one place while waiting for a cab at 1.30am on a Sunday morning. And were too sick to turn up to training the next day... Cover up for a Boozy Pre-season Launch, anyone?
Monday, January 18, 2010
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
The Top 25 NRL Players
Well League lovers, it’s been a very trying time since the grand final whistle was blown. The Tetranations offered some respite, but really, who were we kidding in taking that seriously? We all know the main game is NRL, followed by NRL Reggies. In reward for your patience, League Blog is offering a drop or 1200 in the offseason ocean.
As previously alluded to and perhaps promised, LB has taken the important step of ranking the 25 best players in the game today. Some have called our simple, easy to follow method convoluted, wrong or an obvious rip-off.
Anyway, imagine that Dave Gallop holds a press conference announcing that for one day only the NRL is trialling a new kind of player trade, with NRL teams allowed a straight up one for one swap of any player on the team.
The question is – for any particular player in the league, who could you get in return? Note, this is who you would get – most teams would be too stupid to take Dallas Johnson, even though he’s your ultimate glue guy guaranteed to take a concussion for your team, unnecessarily though it may be.
In order to ground this somewhat in reality, if I’m Ivan Henjak and someone rings up asking about Israel Folau, with the offer of Jamal Idris, I give them a big fat eff you. But if they’re offering Jarryd Hayne, I personally tell Izzy to clear his locker by 9am tomorrow.
The rules
1. Age matters. Would you rather have Trent Barrett for the next two seasons or Daniel Mortimer for the next nine?
2. Salary cap doesn’t matter. We’ve got Ian Schubert in on a conference call and he’s totally fine with this.
3. Concentrate on degrees. Neither North Queensland nor Parramatta would make a Thurston-Hayne trade, but the Cowboys would at least say, "Wow, Jarryd Hayne’s available?" and have a meeting about it while the Eels would say, "There's no frickin' way we're losing Jarryd Hayne." That counts in the big scheme of things.
4. The list runs in reverse order (Nos. 25 to 1). So if Sam Thaiday comes in at No. 14, players 1 through 13 are all players about whom the Broncos would probably say, "We hate giving up Sam, but we definitely have to consider this deal." And they wouldn't trade him straight-up for any player listed between Nos. 15 and 25.
Get the picture? Good. On with the list, in reverse order….
You’ll have to bowl us over, but we’re listening
25. Nathan Hindmarsh. The Best Bum Crack In League just squeezes in here too. His best years may be behind him but if you could bottle what Hindy has, every coach in the league would be pouring it down their own players’ buttcracks.
24. Jamie Soward. The Zen Master loves him, evidenced by his gentle and nurturing protection of Soward from Origin. LB thinks he has a big future.
23. Dallas Johnson. You couldn’t build a team around him, but tough as a rock – a big, tough rock.
22. Michael Jennings. Yet to show his full potential but he’s already made Origin and he’s only 21.
21. Robbie Farah. Lost the battle of the NSW hookers (sounds like a team bonding exercise) and then lost LB’s vote when he failed to get the Tiges into the semis. Perhaps spending too much time on his Mx columns.
The heart and soul of the team… but we can always buy a new one I suppose.
20 Michael Ennis. Tough bugger who has somehow eluded the ‘grub’ tag. He helped turned the Bulldogs into automatic contenders but can he take them further?
19. Cooper Cronk. He’s actually good, but hasn’t had the opportunity to show whether he can do it without other members of the Fab Four. LB was perhaps harsh in calling him Ringo. Alternatives will be considered.
18. Ben Creagh. The Zen Master loves him. In danger of becoming a boring superutility like Gidley and Lewis if he doesn’t bulk up.
17. Petero Civoniceva. Does anyone seriously think they’ll make the semis this year? Needing to win 2 of their last 6 to make the semis last year, they beat the Bunnies and drew the Warriors at home, and lost their other 4 games by 130 points. If Petero can make Elliott look good, he can do anything.
16. Darren Lockyer. Starting to look old. Could help a cuspy team get over the line, but it won’t be the Broncos.
Only if they asked to leave
15. Justin Hodges. Outstanding player who might have peaked. Times his acts of gallantry well.
14. Sam Thaiday. No longer on the cusp, yet not quite the league’s most damaging forward either.
13. Ben Hannant. Solid, solid, solid. Wins the award for most solid forward. Reminiscent of Pricey circa 2003, minus the chargedowns.
12. Fui Fui Moi Moi. If he backs it up this year he will be without question the top forward in the game. Any time writers start quoting physics when they’re describing players, you know something’s going on.
11. Israel Folau. Scarily good winger, but still has the occasional deer in the headlights look in defence. Not that LB wouldn’t if it were placed on the footy field (except maybe at halftime in the under 8s).
Franchise players
10. Scott Prince. Despite his genuine class, can’t quite crack it as the best in the biz. Last seen heavily lobbying Japanese rugby to increase their offer to JT.
9. Roy Asotasi. Is he still the game’s best prop? Come to think of it, who was the last major Souths signing that played their best footy with them?
8. Benji Marshall. At his best, he matches it with the top tier – sadly playing well for one game a year is not quite sufficient. Perhaps reverting to Benjamin would do it. Over to you Rabs.
7. Brett Stewart. Dropped two places due to last year’s BSL (Boozy Season Launch). Will be a defining year for him.
6. Anthony Watmough. Incredibly damaging player, on the field too. Looking for a payday too, so everyone else better watch out in 2010.
No effing way
5. Jonathan Thurston. LB has taken the odd potshot at League’s Golden Boy, but let’s face it – what team wouldn’t want him? And he’s only 26.
4. Cameron Smith. The Storm’s real MVP, doesn’t sell tickets like Slater and Inglis (before he was removed from all official advertising). Him and Dallas Johnson are built like T-800s. You need to pull that lever and get the hydraulic machine to crush them to be really sure they’re gone, and even still you can’t rule out Miles Dyson finding their crunched up hand and then turning a startup company into a gamechanger like Cyberdyne.
3. Billy Slater. Most consistently brilliant player – how long’s he been doing it for? – with no signs of letting off for at least a couple more years. Guaranteed brain snap in at least one crucial game per year.
2. Jarryd Hayne. This guy has the goods. If anything, the disappointing finish to 2009 should have Hayne primed for an even bigger 2010. LB heard Parra were joint favourites with the Storm this year, and we didn’t even laugh! Not far off Inglis at his best, and he’s younger and more marketable.
1. Greg Inglis. A close call with Hayne, because of his looming court case and tendency to go off the radar at times. Even off the radar Inglis is better than most. At his best, Inglis is better than any other player at their best.
As previously alluded to and perhaps promised, LB has taken the important step of ranking the 25 best players in the game today. Some have called our simple, easy to follow method convoluted, wrong or an obvious rip-off.
Anyway, imagine that Dave Gallop holds a press conference announcing that for one day only the NRL is trialling a new kind of player trade, with NRL teams allowed a straight up one for one swap of any player on the team.
The question is – for any particular player in the league, who could you get in return? Note, this is who you would get – most teams would be too stupid to take Dallas Johnson, even though he’s your ultimate glue guy guaranteed to take a concussion for your team, unnecessarily though it may be.
In order to ground this somewhat in reality, if I’m Ivan Henjak and someone rings up asking about Israel Folau, with the offer of Jamal Idris, I give them a big fat eff you. But if they’re offering Jarryd Hayne, I personally tell Izzy to clear his locker by 9am tomorrow.
The rules
1. Age matters. Would you rather have Trent Barrett for the next two seasons or Daniel Mortimer for the next nine?
2. Salary cap doesn’t matter. We’ve got Ian Schubert in on a conference call and he’s totally fine with this.
3. Concentrate on degrees. Neither North Queensland nor Parramatta would make a Thurston-Hayne trade, but the Cowboys would at least say, "Wow, Jarryd Hayne’s available?" and have a meeting about it while the Eels would say, "There's no frickin' way we're losing Jarryd Hayne." That counts in the big scheme of things.
4. The list runs in reverse order (Nos. 25 to 1). So if Sam Thaiday comes in at No. 14, players 1 through 13 are all players about whom the Broncos would probably say, "We hate giving up Sam, but we definitely have to consider this deal." And they wouldn't trade him straight-up for any player listed between Nos. 15 and 25.
Get the picture? Good. On with the list, in reverse order….
You’ll have to bowl us over, but we’re listening
25. Nathan Hindmarsh. The Best Bum Crack In League just squeezes in here too. His best years may be behind him but if you could bottle what Hindy has, every coach in the league would be pouring it down their own players’ buttcracks.
24. Jamie Soward. The Zen Master loves him, evidenced by his gentle and nurturing protection of Soward from Origin. LB thinks he has a big future.
23. Dallas Johnson. You couldn’t build a team around him, but tough as a rock – a big, tough rock.
22. Michael Jennings. Yet to show his full potential but he’s already made Origin and he’s only 21.
21. Robbie Farah. Lost the battle of the NSW hookers (sounds like a team bonding exercise) and then lost LB’s vote when he failed to get the Tiges into the semis. Perhaps spending too much time on his Mx columns.
The heart and soul of the team… but we can always buy a new one I suppose.
20 Michael Ennis. Tough bugger who has somehow eluded the ‘grub’ tag. He helped turned the Bulldogs into automatic contenders but can he take them further?
19. Cooper Cronk. He’s actually good, but hasn’t had the opportunity to show whether he can do it without other members of the Fab Four. LB was perhaps harsh in calling him Ringo. Alternatives will be considered.
18. Ben Creagh. The Zen Master loves him. In danger of becoming a boring superutility like Gidley and Lewis if he doesn’t bulk up.
17. Petero Civoniceva. Does anyone seriously think they’ll make the semis this year? Needing to win 2 of their last 6 to make the semis last year, they beat the Bunnies and drew the Warriors at home, and lost their other 4 games by 130 points. If Petero can make Elliott look good, he can do anything.
16. Darren Lockyer. Starting to look old. Could help a cuspy team get over the line, but it won’t be the Broncos.
Only if they asked to leave
15. Justin Hodges. Outstanding player who might have peaked. Times his acts of gallantry well.
14. Sam Thaiday. No longer on the cusp, yet not quite the league’s most damaging forward either.
13. Ben Hannant. Solid, solid, solid. Wins the award for most solid forward. Reminiscent of Pricey circa 2003, minus the chargedowns.
12. Fui Fui Moi Moi. If he backs it up this year he will be without question the top forward in the game. Any time writers start quoting physics when they’re describing players, you know something’s going on.
11. Israel Folau. Scarily good winger, but still has the occasional deer in the headlights look in defence. Not that LB wouldn’t if it were placed on the footy field (except maybe at halftime in the under 8s).
Franchise players
10. Scott Prince. Despite his genuine class, can’t quite crack it as the best in the biz. Last seen heavily lobbying Japanese rugby to increase their offer to JT.
9. Roy Asotasi. Is he still the game’s best prop? Come to think of it, who was the last major Souths signing that played their best footy with them?
8. Benji Marshall. At his best, he matches it with the top tier – sadly playing well for one game a year is not quite sufficient. Perhaps reverting to Benjamin would do it. Over to you Rabs.
7. Brett Stewart. Dropped two places due to last year’s BSL (Boozy Season Launch). Will be a defining year for him.
6. Anthony Watmough. Incredibly damaging player, on the field too. Looking for a payday too, so everyone else better watch out in 2010.
No effing way
5. Jonathan Thurston. LB has taken the odd potshot at League’s Golden Boy, but let’s face it – what team wouldn’t want him? And he’s only 26.
4. Cameron Smith. The Storm’s real MVP, doesn’t sell tickets like Slater and Inglis (before he was removed from all official advertising). Him and Dallas Johnson are built like T-800s. You need to pull that lever and get the hydraulic machine to crush them to be really sure they’re gone, and even still you can’t rule out Miles Dyson finding their crunched up hand and then turning a startup company into a gamechanger like Cyberdyne.
3. Billy Slater. Most consistently brilliant player – how long’s he been doing it for? – with no signs of letting off for at least a couple more years. Guaranteed brain snap in at least one crucial game per year.
2. Jarryd Hayne. This guy has the goods. If anything, the disappointing finish to 2009 should have Hayne primed for an even bigger 2010. LB heard Parra were joint favourites with the Storm this year, and we didn’t even laugh! Not far off Inglis at his best, and he’s younger and more marketable.
1. Greg Inglis. A close call with Hayne, because of his looming court case and tendency to go off the radar at times. Even off the radar Inglis is better than most. At his best, Inglis is better than any other player at their best.
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