Season Preview

Well it's that time of the year. Autumn is just a whisker away and the sound of some kind of synthetic on some kind of other synthetic is ringing around training grounds near and far.

After the debacle that was 2011, the rugby league Gods have a lot of work to do. Here's how League Blog sees the year shaking out, going through each team in order of their finish in the regular season in 2010...

Illawarra: Now they have the monkey off their backs, expect them to hop straight into the bath and give it a good scrub. No reason why they can't repeat their form of the last two years, hopefully 2009.

Penrith: No reason why they can't slide back down to the bottom of the ladder.

Wests: After their great showing in 2010, surely only a series of horrific injuries could derail them this year.

Gold Coast: The Titans will continue their slow and steady climb up the ladder and compete for the minor premiership. The tough lessons learned in the semis last year will surely steel them for a crack at the big one this year. Lacking a bit of dreads out wide though.

New Zealand: This inconsistent outfit promised and teased us constantly throughout 2010. Expect them to start strongly and then fizzle.

Sydney: With Brian Smith proving once again to be the best resurrector this side of Jesus Christ, the Roosters are in a great position to do well again. Provided Todd Carney remains far away from wagons the Roosters will contend. There's also a strong rumour doing the rounds that having cornered the market on Sydney, the Roosters will look to rebadge themselves as the Australian Roosters.

Canberra: Finished the year with a wet sail, which doesn't always bode well for the coming season, as Parramatta will attest to. Still, with the veteran leadership of Matt Orford, expect big things from the Raiders this year.

Manly: Continued their steady downward trajectory with an eighth place finish last year. A certainty to drop out of the semis this year, especially with the best half in the club, Trent Hodkinson (the G is silent) heading south-southwest to the Bulldogs.

Souths: Rusty and Co. have finally got it right, and with the addition of Greg Inglis the Bunnies are a lock to make the top eight, and will push the top four.

Brisbane Broncos: I can still hear the cheers echoing around my ears from the Broncos' pathetic performance last year. Old, slow and uninspired - dark horses for the wooden spoon, if you'll pardon the pun.

Newcastle Knights: Barring some kind of godfather offer from an offensively wealthy backer, the Knights will remain irrelevant and on track for demotion to the NSW cup, with the Newtown Jets to replace them.

Parramatta Eels: Steve Kearney has huge wraps on him - think of him as the victim of some kind of Subway prank gone wrong. The moment his signing was announced the bookies slashed the odds for the Eels to make the eight. LB can see no reason to disagree.

Bankstown: Kevin Moore has proven himself to be a woeful coach, and only a string of brilliant signings can save his bacon. Look for Ben Roberts, Jonathon Wright and Michael Lett to form a deadly combination on the left side, the likes Dogs fans have not seen since the days of Anasta, Talau and Utai.

Cronulla: Sharks fans should take some consolation from the laws of probability, which state that a team can only be bad for so long. Shouldn't be too long now.

North Queensland: Each passing year makes the Bulldogs decision not to retain Jonathon Thurston look better and better. Cowboys no hope of making the semis, although if one player can steer them clear of the wooden spoon it's their journeyman talisman Dallas Johnson.

Melbourne Storm: Probably won't get the spoon again.

Let the games begin!

William, Kate and the Dogs

Some blame Kevin Moore, others blame the rookie halves, others still blame Kevin Moore. But League Blog can now reveal the true reason for the Bulldogs' mid-early-season form reversal: the royal wedding.

At half time of the Bulldogs game against the Broncos, the coach's speech was interrupted by calls from the players to switch on the nuptials. It is believed that these were lead by Ben Barba and Jamal Idris, both staunch monarchists. Coach Kevin Moore was initially against it, but he wisely relented in the face of Mick Ennis spray as he reached for the remote control.

At the climactic moment in the ceremony, there wasn't a dry eye in the dressing room - except for Andrew Ryan, who has had his tear ducts removed after hearing about Darren Lockyer's successful operation with the same procedure. Just as the Kleenex were being passed around, the call for the players to return to the field was made. Yet they were clearly in no state to play rugby league.

They went on to lose the match and their next two.

LB reaffirms its dedication to an Australian Republic.