Year in Review - Part III of XVI

Screening at the NRL this weekend was an unusual doubleheader, Watership Down (dead rabbits) and Brokeback Mountain (dead cowboy). But enough of the pup tent, it's time to continue the review of the year that was. It's quite incredible that the bottom three teams this year all did pretty well last year. Don't you think?

New Zealand Warriors or Polys Want A Cracker


Highlight: Preseason ambition.
Lowlight: The death of Sonny Fai.
Most Valuable Player: Ruben Wiki, it would appear.
Most Worthless Player: Stacey Jones, in a canter. Jones started the year in vintage form, leading the team to wins over the Eels and Sea Eagles. But it took about two rounds to finish the bottle and the team's been hungover ever since, getting by on the fermented sweat of the Beast. I think there's a lesson here for everyone. Coming back to the NRL from retirement is not easy. Yes, I'm talking to you Tonie Carroll. Once was Lockyer's Angel, now he's not fit to polish Thaiday's ... umm... boots. Big Dell would appear to invalidate the hereby christened Stacey Jones Rule, but he sneaks in by the Shane Warne Enforced Layoff Corollary. This bodes well for Reni Maitua, if his care factor ever goes above zero.
Telling statistic: The Warriors lead the league with 37.1 tackle busts a game. There hasn't been a less successful conversion of busts into something substantial since Heather Graham. Thanks to my colleague ParraStatsFreak for supplying this one (though not the Heather Graham analogy).
Quotes that sum up their year:
- Ivan Cleary's harsh but fair "It's almost pointless talking about our dreams down the track."
- Steve Price's "I think Stacey should be considered as an Immortal." Yes, Jones' corpse has recently been seen shuffling about playing fields around the eastern seaboard but that's merely further evidence we need a better description for our best players than 'immortal'. Corridor of Fame?
2010 Outlook: Winning their first two games, Ivan Cleary signed to a two year extension, followed by one win from their next eight and eventual irrelevance. Hang on, that was this year? Damn you Trusty Steeden!