Year in Review - Part XI of XVI

Gold Coast Titans or Don't Bother Remembering The Titans

Put the cork back in... Tooley had been
hired to facilitate grand final celebrations

Season Highlight: Unlike their first two seasons in the comp, the Titans did not fade during the regular season. They also scored a few sweet tries in the back end of their semi against the Broncos. The Titans had more fastest men in rugby league than they could play, forcing them to hire David Williams to drop one of them.

Season Lowlight: Also unlike their first two seasons, the Titans faded during the post-season. Tragically, this was predicted with 95.8% accuracy by all fans of footy.

Most Valuable Player: Journeyman Mark Minichiello. He’s finally the better Mini, thanks to seven consecutive seasons of shattered vertebrae for his brother Anthony “The Count / Joey Tribbiani / Badly Faded Golden Boot” Minichiello. Mark was a real barometer for his team’s fortunes, in the sense that he carried a column of mercury in his pocket. Honourable mention to Chris Walker for flattening Darren “Paperweight” Lockyer last week. If there was any ever doubt that Lockyer is the most pathetic physical force in the history of rugby league, that was it. Look for him to be ragdolled by a cheerleader as he’s running onto Etihad Stadium this Saturday.

Most Worthless Player: Scott Prince. Two more failed seasons from becoming a journeyman. Although his burden is somewhat lessened by the failures of the Tigers and his SOO nemesis Jonathan Thurston, it is somewhat increased by the knowledge that everyone still loves the Tigers more than the Titans and Thurston more than Prince.

Telling Statistic: Brad Meyer’s facial hair grew at 9mm/week this year, while his head hair grew at 7mm/week.

Quote that sums up their year: Soon to be journeyman coach John Cartwright, before they played the Eels: "I'd love to say after the game 'there's four teams left and we are still there'."
Cartwright sounding hollow after they played the Eels: “There's four teams left and we are still there.”

2010 Outlook: You’d like to think the Titans will parlay their considerable disappointment this year into a stronger performance next year, culminating in a grand final qualifier loss. With development of their rookies and the acquisition of one or two more journeymen, they might just achieve that.