Thursday bullets

• You know how some writers just couldn't be arsed doing a proper post and so just rifle off a bunch of unconnected and poorly thought out points yet try and rescue the whole thing by calling it 'bullets'? League Blog has a very open mind and is willing to try anything once.
• In the wake of the success of the Matty Johns show, already nominated for a BAFTA, commercial stations are scrambling to put together more footy offerings. LB can however offer a Danny Weidler-style exclusive, as we bumped into a television crew from Sydney community station TVS while they were filming former Manly trainer and now assistant coach Geoff Toovey. Turns out they're putting together a 6-part documentary called Reality TooVey, following the schmiddy-sized Tooves around while he gives advice, organises defensive lines, sinks pints at the Arms and repairs broken doors. In a further Danny Weidler-style exclusive, LB can reveal that Tooves is working on a secret new tackling manoeuvre called the Joystick. Tune into TVS next Friday at 3pm for all the details.
• There have been mixed reactions from fans of Souths, the Bulldogs, Cronulla and Manly, the four teams yet to register wins this year. Some say a win is just around the corner, others are googling Jack Kevorkian. Like Sherlock Downey Jr, LB likes to get all the facts before judging these matters. In 2009 three teams entered Round 3 on 0 points: Manly, Canberra and Panthers. All had essentially crap years. In 2008 it was Manly, Penrith, Souths and North Qld. Again, all crap years, except Manly who won the comp. LB thinks it's pretty obvious what the implications are.
  
• Likewise, fans of the Roosters, Dragons, Storm and Titans want to know whether their two wins will translate to rugby league immortality. LB is so confident in stating the following that it won't even bother looking it up. In the ENTIRE history of rugby league, at least three of the top four teams entering Round 3 have gone on to miss out on the big prize. Sobering stuff.
• LB saw on Hungry Beast last night that the mobile apps industry is projected to become larger than the music industry. Can anyone think of any potential league apps for players, coaches, administrators or the heart of the game, the fans?
  

NRL Rugby League 3 on Nerdstation

League Blog has just been informed that NRL Rugby League 3 has just been released on nerd systems around the world. Giving a free plug, LB was a big fan of NRL RL2, which allowed great moves such as pass left (L1), pass right (R1), speed up (X), side step (Y), and kick (I could never figure out which button did this, so my halfback (Daniel Holdsworth) would kick at random times to random places - much like real life).

However, we are assured that Rugby League 3 has a much wider array of moves for the nerdy league fans. A bit of research has come up with the following:

Chicken Wing - X, X, -->, Y. Toggle stick left and right rapidly to rip tendons.
Prowler - (L1) + O, Y, -->, -->. Also can hit --> -->, (up) to do a prowling high shot.
Grapple - mash all buttons together and toggle left and right.
Eye Gouge - hit X, X, <--, --> after a grapple
Gallen Wheels Grab - O, O <--, --> after a grapple

We note that there are a number of player specific moves too.

Inglis - X, X, X, X, --> will give the ol' don't argue.
Matai - Any button on defence will result in Matai giving a high shot.
Nate Myles - (L2), O, O... I recommend that you not try this one.
And finally, reminiscent of the fatality moves in Mortal Kombat, Brett Stewart. Try X, X --> X, Y if Manly wins a match.



Enjoy.

Note, if you discover any different player specific codes, feel free to post them in comments.

Ennis shots

ABC Sport reports that a high shot has cost Michael Ennis a week. In other news, four Michael Ennis wide shots cost the Bulldogs a week.

The same report mentions that "Warriors back James Maloney and Gold Coast reserve prop Bodene Thompson". League Blog is all for teams backing their own players, but why New Zealand would want to back a Titans player is beyond us. It is possible to interpret the above statement another way though: the Titans are reserving Thompson, possibly for use at a later date. Thompson, who born was around the same time the movie Point Break came out, has no known interest in robbing banks in between surfing, playing beach gridiron and rescuing Keanu Reeves from Anthony Kiedis.

Game On

Well pundits - last night League Blog dreamt about league and this morning it woke in a pool of drool. So we think it's about time we take the boots out of the locker, clean off last season's dried up mud, and start practising our wrestling techniques.

LB predicts an exciting year! The tea leaves are too wet to go into specifics, although it is safe to gamble responsibly on the following:
- The team formerly known as the Winless Rabbits will now just be known as the Wingless Rabbits.
- Jesus Hayne will do a cruciate in the first two weeks.
- The Bulldogs will rediscover their strength as a family team (Mortimers and Hughes's'es excepted).
- The Storm will find pain through the loss of Dallas Johnson.
- Wayne Bennett will at last give the selectors his blessing to unleash Jamie Soward onto Origin.
- Manly will be mad as hell, as will Billy Slater for no longer having Matt Orford between him and shortest man in league status.
- Matt Elliot will be lauded as a supercoach some time between rounds 1 and 5.
- Tim Sheens will be reunited with his long lost brothers Charlie and Emilio.
- As per the decadal Trans-Tasman Oscillation, the Warriors are due for a good year.
- Braith Anasta and Anthony Minichiello will reach an all-time high in core strength.
- The Titans will bring out five more fastest men in league on the wings, only for Chris Walker to make a surprise appearance in the semis.
- The Sharks will surprise quite a few people, chiefly by showing up to games.
- Everyone will forget to talk about the Raiders.
- The Knights will be fired up as hell for round one. Hopefully the Doggies put the cleaners through them and steer them on course for Rugby League's first winless season in history.
- After bumping into Tonie Carroll outside a hospice, Alan Cann will suit up the boots again to shore up the Broncos' wafer-thin frontline.
- Jonathan Thurston will finally get some recognition as one of the top players in league.

League Blog has also been asked by some mysterious female followers to give them some hints for tipping this year. As we will do anything to get women to read our blog (semi-naked pictures of Craig Wing, anyone?), we will be happy to comply. And, mysterious ladies, you may take comfort in the fact that League Blog comprised the majority of the great Felafel Farfalle team who won last year's Team Prize in the Tim Ward Rugby League Tipping comp.


So this week, League Blog would go with the favourites, although I worry about the Tigers as I think they still haven't recovered (except for a blip in 2005) from Baa Baa's hit on Ellery Hanley in the 1988 Grand Final.